Divorce, separation, and other relationship-ending decisions can be extremely taxing and straining on a person’s mental wellbeing. Even in situations where the separation is mutual, it can still be rather painful to all parties involved. Trying to navigate how things will change going forward can be quite confusing. Many people struggle to fully understand and process their emotions, even ones that may be of relief or happiness.
Divorce and separation can result from many reasons such as conflicts in:
- Ideals for the future of the relationship
- Incompatible temperament
- Mental health illness in one or both partners left unaddressed
- Differing political/social views that cannot be compromised on
- One partner wants children when the other does not
- Inconsistent parenting or one parent taking more responsibility than the other
- Financial issues
- Socio-economic issues
- Fidelity issues
- Abuse
- Violence
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Divorce & Separation
There are different ways divorce and separation can affect one’s emotional and psychological health:
- Anxiety: Worries regarding the divorce process, having to confront your partner, how division of assets or child custody will proceed, etc.
- Depression: Losing a relationship, especially ones that have lasted a while, can take a toll on your wellbeing. Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or severe fatigue are common.
- Anger/Irritability: Your conflict with your partner may make you on edge at all times, which can affect your relationship with others. This is especially true if the circumstances of the conflict are heated.
- Stress: You may start experiencing symptoms of stress: please click here for more info.
- Withdrawal from social circles/Isolation: Divorce and separation can be overwhelming as it is; having others around you all the time, or having to face people, can be difficult. This might result in withdrawing or isolating yourself from others.
- Guilt/Shame: While modern society is generally more understanding about social issues, it can still be difficult to navigate cultural norms that are traditionally against separation or divorce. Even in cases where this is the best decision for both partners, you may still face stigma. This can lead to shame or guilt regarding your decision.
- Low Self-Esteem: Regardless of whether one partner initiated the separation, or whether it was mutual, how we view ourselves can vary drastically with the removal of a close/intimate person from our lives. This is further emphasised when you have to deal with social circles that stigmatise divorce/separation. People may make you feel bad about yourself for making this decision and you may even start questioning yourself even though objectively it was the right thing to do.
How Bright Ray can help you make this transition smoother
Bright Ray counsellors are equipped to deal with separation-related or divorce-related concerns. We have the experience of working with couples to navigate their future forward, even if it is to separate. We can provide you with counselling to address any fundamental issues with the relationship that can give you perspective on what went wrong and what could be different.
At the base of it, you no longer have a person in your life that you had all the time up until that point. Even if the separation/divorce is mutual, it is always best to discuss any issues, worries, or other details you want to clarify in the presence of a professional. This will give you the right space to air out your grievances or other thoughts constructively and for the betterment of both partners.